Its not often I complain, well out loud anyway. I've always been the type of person to keep my problems to myself and deal with them on my own, internally. I've recently been learning that there is a unmeasurable value in having a friend or 2 or 3 that accept you for who you are 100%. That kind of friend you can talk to about any and everything and they will understand you when you need understanding, educate you when you feel dumb and console you when you hurt.
However, I am noticing that there is one need that most people aren't capable of that I believe is the most important of all. A true friend isn't just capable of crying with you, and hurting with you, and laughing with and at you, and getting angry with you. A truly special friend will sit and listen to you and hear your every word, understand exactly what you mean and feel and when its appropriate, they feel comfortable looking you in your eyes and telling you to get your head out of your ass and suck it up.
Its so damn hard to find that one friend that knows how to tell you to stop being a chickenshit and go do what needs to be done or to get off your ass and suck it up and get the job done. We are so busy trying to heal and console each other that we tend to forget about the need for tough love. The art of tough love seems to be a lost art. The ability to constructively and loving tell someone when they're being a total idiot and they need to check themselves before they get checked. I know i'm not always right, as rare as it is, i too can be wrong. but there's a difference in just being called wrong because you disagree with me and pointing out specifically where and how wrong i am. To be able to sit down and look at me and say man, if you don't shut the hell up with that nonsense and quit pretending like you don't know whats going on, i will personally kick your big ass.
I'd love to have someone know me well enough and I trust them enough for them to be able to sit me down and shut me up when i needed it most. I stand by my self assessment, I could be greater then anything i ever imagined myself to be, if I could just get out of my own damn way. One day I hope to trust someone enough and they trust me enough to be able to show me true tough love when I truly need it.
However, I am noticing that there is one need that most people aren't capable of that I believe is the most important of all. A true friend isn't just capable of crying with you, and hurting with you, and laughing with and at you, and getting angry with you. A truly special friend will sit and listen to you and hear your every word, understand exactly what you mean and feel and when its appropriate, they feel comfortable looking you in your eyes and telling you to get your head out of your ass and suck it up.
Its so damn hard to find that one friend that knows how to tell you to stop being a chickenshit and go do what needs to be done or to get off your ass and suck it up and get the job done. We are so busy trying to heal and console each other that we tend to forget about the need for tough love. The art of tough love seems to be a lost art. The ability to constructively and loving tell someone when they're being a total idiot and they need to check themselves before they get checked. I know i'm not always right, as rare as it is, i too can be wrong. but there's a difference in just being called wrong because you disagree with me and pointing out specifically where and how wrong i am. To be able to sit down and look at me and say man, if you don't shut the hell up with that nonsense and quit pretending like you don't know whats going on, i will personally kick your big ass.
I'd love to have someone know me well enough and I trust them enough for them to be able to sit me down and shut me up when i needed it most. I stand by my self assessment, I could be greater then anything i ever imagined myself to be, if I could just get out of my own damn way. One day I hope to trust someone enough and they trust me enough to be able to show me true tough love when I truly need it.
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